“BROKEN HEART” SYNDROME: REAL, POTENTIALLY DEADLY BUT RECOVERY QUICK
-- Hopkins scientists discover that emotional shock can trigger sudden, reversible heart failure that is not a classic heart attack
"A broken heart is a universal pain we all experience at some point in our lives. Like my brother said, "Why
do you think there are so many sad love songs?" (At that moment, he was comforting me about mine.)"
~ Viveca Stone-Berry, Founder Get Ready For Love Radio and author of Fatigue Be Gone Guide.
do you think there are so many sad love songs?" (At that moment, he was comforting me about mine.)"
~ Viveca Stone-Berry, Founder Get Ready For Love Radio and author of Fatigue Be Gone Guide.
Broken Heart :: Divorce, Death, Desertion. It all hurts. Now What?
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They say you never forget your first Love or your first lover. Yes to both. Well, you also never forget horrific heartbreaks. For me it was the one that came before “the one,” my husband, finally showed up.
I was 41. Too old to be such a fool and too old to ever attract another man. I was too old to be starting all over again – financially, too. I was terrified of being alone. That was just some of the mental chatter. Physically and emotionally I was a wreak. Today, happily, I can’t relive the pain but I can recall the dry sobs, the cheerless days, drinking alone, chain smoking and lying awake at night. I remember the fatigue and how I limped through the minutes, hours and weeks that came after he moved out. I was attached to my pain and detached from everything else in life. Is that how a ghost feels? I’ve come a long way - baby - since then. Today I am 54 going on 55! I've been married Michael, the perfect man for me, for nearly a decade. I could not have imagined my life today, back then. Maybe some of what I learned can help you feel better and, in time, get the Love you desire. First of all, don’t rush to “get over it.” Hearts can’t be rushed and feelings don’t come with expiration dates. Take your life one day, one hour at a time. Secondly, don’t try to dull it with pills, alcohol, food or sex with “Mr. Right Now.” This just gives you more clean-up to do later. Two wrongs can equal something worse. Been there. Done that. Cured. Now, here are some simple tips and techniques to help you feel physically & emotionally better – Fast. Feeling better in your skin makes the heart and soul work ahead so much lighter. |
If you, or someone you love, are suffering from heart break or fatigue, I recommend you devour the following:
"Fatigue Be Gone Guide" Save time, money, and energy - it has what you need in just 8 Simple Steps... 1) Inventory your health & lifestyle and uncover your fatigue factors. Adrenal Fatigue? Anxiety? Depression? Anemia? Grief? What's driving your energy down? 2) Learn easy-does-it ways to heal yourself and boost your energy. Share them with your partner and children. 3) Find out what critical information you need to gather for your doctor (save time, money and frustration.) 4) Ask your doc to perform tests - which ones & why. And, what to do if they deny or belittle your requests ... 5) Includes Free Home Tests & access to hundreds of essential Women's Health Products & Services. |
Broken Hearts Need SleepSleep – quality sleep – can be hard to come by when you’ve been shocked by the loss of a Love. How it happened doesn't matter to the heart - a loss is a loss. Is your mind whirling at night second guessing, trying to figure our "Why?" and "What went wrong?" Or is anxiety, shame or fear of being alone waking you up and keeping you up?
Whatever thoughts or feelings are interrupting your sleep you must make getting the rest you need your TOP priority. Aside from sleeping well I recommend that you get to sleep before 11:00 p.m. and sleep in till 9:00 a.m. whenever possible. Why? Our adrenal glands, a.k.a. "fight or flight" response system, recharges best between 11:00 p.m. -1:00 a.m. and again in the morning hours. As a former adrenal fatigue sufferer let me assure you that you don't want to "go there." And, let me educate you too. Adrenal fatigue is very common in women. It is often triggered by a shock to the body or mind. For more information on Adrenal Fatigue, click here. Below are a few supplements, dietary suggestions & bedtime remedies to help you sleep tight - all night.  |
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Broken Hearts Need SupplementsVitamins, Minerals, Sleep Aids, Diet & Lifestyle
Those sleeping pill commercials may be looking really good about now and do have their purpose. Before you go there, or stay there, give this a try: Vitamins & Minerals: Magnesium. Take 400-800 mg before going to bed at night. (Soothes nerves and helps you sleep. Most women, light-hearted or broken-hearted, are deficient in this essential mineral.) Vitamin C. Take 1,000 mg around 2:00 p.m. with walnuts. This combo lifts your physical and emotional energy. Multi-Vitamin. Add a high quality multi-vitamin or vitamin pack. Sleep Aids: The Magnesium mentioned above; Melatonin and Lavender Essential Oil. I recommend that you rotate usage of “Sleep Aids,” other than the Magnesium, to see what works best for you. (For short term use only.) Purchase these supplements and sleep aids at your local health food store, grocery store or pharmacy. Diet: Protein foods – eggs, cheese, meat and poultry stimulate the mind and can keep you awake at night. If possible, eat dinner earlier, at least 3-4 hours before going to bed. Avoid sugar deserts and caffeine. Complex carbohydrates – cereals, rice and pasta can help calm your mind. Try eating a bowl of oatmeal about an hour before going to bed. Drink less and drink more. Drink less alcohol. It is a depressant and it interrupts your sleep cycle! Also cut back on caffeine which amps you up then drops you down. Drink more water and a minimum of 8 glasses a day. (I have my cup of coffee two to three hours after I get up. This really helps balance my energy for the all of the day.) |
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Lifestyle:
Get in bed earlier and take a friend with you. No, not that kind. The following inspirational reads have been good bedfellows for me at a time like this. 1. In The Spirit, Susan L. Taylor 2. In Sweet Company: Conversations with Extraordinary Women About Living A Spiritual Life, Margaret Wolff 3. Trust Your Vibes, 33 Secrets to Living a Six Sensory Life, Sonia Choquette 4. The Dance of Fear Rising Above Anxiety, Fear & Shame to Be Your Best & Bravest Self, Dr. Harriet Lerner Journal. Every night before you go to sleep write down 3 accomplishments/wins for that day. Got out of bed. Drove to work. Got back in bed. Use these if you get stuck. Then write a page about that day's worries and a page or imaginings and gratitudes. You will find, little by little, that the good will come naturally and the pain will slide away. You can shop on-line for these books and other recommended reading at GetReadyForLove.com. For journaling how to & inspiration click here to read USE JOURNALING TO MANAGE FEAR. Lower your thermostat. Sleeping in a cooler environment (Between 60 - 65 degrees) triggers hibernation like quieting of the body and the mind. So turn it down and snuggle under your blankets or down. Me, I pretend that my bed is a cloud! Lavender your pillow. Sprinkle Lavender Essence Oil on your pillow and benefit from the power of aromatherapy. (I also drab it on the collar of my blouse or on my turtleneck, right under my nose, to carry its peace with me throughout particularly stressful or unhappy days.) Take "Time Out" for grief and laughter. Grief Breaks. I don’t know about you but I found myself weepy, crying, jagged and anxious all the time after my last break up. Not only couldn’t I get over it; I couldn’t get a break from it. My feelings were like poison spoiling my entire day. A friend suggested I set specific times during the day to let it rip – let it out. It wasn’t pretty but it worked. I beat pillows, cried, raged, complained, and screamed my sorrow. I always felt calmer afterwards (how couldn’t I?) and could hold myself together till the next break. The full release stopped the constant drip. Laughter Breaks. Do whatever you can to get in some belly laughs even if you have to fake it. Actors do it. You can too. Notice how good you feel afterwards. Click here to discover more amazing benefits of laughter. Want more suggestions on where to go for great laughs? How about a daily dose of Pooch Café or other comic strip favorites at: www.gocomics.com or tuning in Seinfeld or Frazier re-runs or … What makes you laugh? Do it! Broken Hearts Need Support |
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Don’t be shy. That's what professionals, family and friends are for. We are here for you.
"The mind is a bad neighborhood. Don't go there alone." -My Peeps
It took a village to help me get my life back. I am not ashamed to admit that. In fact, I am grateful to whatever spirit moved me to ask for help and made me willing to receive it. Here are a few of my supporters. I encourage you to find your own.
The Docs …
Dr. Belle, Psychologist. Belle’s specialty was helping women break out of co-dependent, unhealthy relationships with significant others, and themselves.
Dr. Gray, My Primary Care Doctor. Upon Dr. Belle’s recommendation and her agreement I was prescribed a short term, – get-over-the-hump – anti-depressant. It worked.
Family & friends. All angels in disguise …
My Parents, Mom was stoic, no nonsense, just there. Dad - he dropped everything when I told him my break up – break out news. He took me out to breakfast. While I cried into my eggs he talked to me about things like … sleeping and eating and seeing my doctor for support. The kind of things I am talking to you about now …
Claudia. She insisted on getting me out of the house and on the tennis court. (Great idea – get that body moving.) We spent hours smacking the ball, giggling about sex, men, boobs and everything under the sun. She also tore through my closet and eliminated all of my “family/wifely” style clothing. Yes, I used to dress like Little House on the Prairie.
Mafe. Years later she is still a daily source of encouragement. She drove for hours to take me out to lunch when I told her about the break up. I will never forget that afternoon. Or the hours that we have spent together on the phone ever since. You don’t have to be next door or close to get (or give) the Love you need.
Catherine. She said “I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.” Cat didn’t tell me what to do, how to do it or give her opinion about it. She did gift me a plane ticket with an invitation for a cozy, compassionate visit. On that trip I first heard the song … Ready for Love. That’s another story, another day.
Craig, Russ, Roxanne, The Buck, My Peeps, Marci, Lesley, Lee, Patrick, Jimmy, My Salsa Class, Annie, Armando, Marsha, Sonia, Cathy, Velvet, Bitsey, Carol, Benson, Coco, Hunter ... I said it took a village, didn't I? Call in your troops and spread your misery around. The joy shared is multiplied and misery shared is diminished (often laughable.)
Ala-non, the program and the fellowship of its community
Last, but not least, Alanon.
How can I describe Ala-non? Let me put it this way. When I first met with Dr. Belle I told her that I wanted to have my life back and that I wanted to feel happy again. She asked me if I had heard of a program called Ala-non and recommended that I give it a try. “Go to six meetings” she said “and see if Ala-non is for you.” I did. I am still going strong.
"The mind is a bad neighborhood. Don't go there alone." -My Peeps
It took a village to help me get my life back. I am not ashamed to admit that. In fact, I am grateful to whatever spirit moved me to ask for help and made me willing to receive it. Here are a few of my supporters. I encourage you to find your own.
The Docs …
Dr. Belle, Psychologist. Belle’s specialty was helping women break out of co-dependent, unhealthy relationships with significant others, and themselves.
Dr. Gray, My Primary Care Doctor. Upon Dr. Belle’s recommendation and her agreement I was prescribed a short term, – get-over-the-hump – anti-depressant. It worked.
Family & friends. All angels in disguise …
My Parents, Mom was stoic, no nonsense, just there. Dad - he dropped everything when I told him my break up – break out news. He took me out to breakfast. While I cried into my eggs he talked to me about things like … sleeping and eating and seeing my doctor for support. The kind of things I am talking to you about now …
Claudia. She insisted on getting me out of the house and on the tennis court. (Great idea – get that body moving.) We spent hours smacking the ball, giggling about sex, men, boobs and everything under the sun. She also tore through my closet and eliminated all of my “family/wifely” style clothing. Yes, I used to dress like Little House on the Prairie.
Mafe. Years later she is still a daily source of encouragement. She drove for hours to take me out to lunch when I told her about the break up. I will never forget that afternoon. Or the hours that we have spent together on the phone ever since. You don’t have to be next door or close to get (or give) the Love you need.
Catherine. She said “I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.” Cat didn’t tell me what to do, how to do it or give her opinion about it. She did gift me a plane ticket with an invitation for a cozy, compassionate visit. On that trip I first heard the song … Ready for Love. That’s another story, another day.
Craig, Russ, Roxanne, The Buck, My Peeps, Marci, Lesley, Lee, Patrick, Jimmy, My Salsa Class, Annie, Armando, Marsha, Sonia, Cathy, Velvet, Bitsey, Carol, Benson, Coco, Hunter ... I said it took a village, didn't I? Call in your troops and spread your misery around. The joy shared is multiplied and misery shared is diminished (often laughable.)
Ala-non, the program and the fellowship of its community
Last, but not least, Alanon.
How can I describe Ala-non? Let me put it this way. When I first met with Dr. Belle I told her that I wanted to have my life back and that I wanted to feel happy again. She asked me if I had heard of a program called Ala-non and recommended that I give it a try. “Go to six meetings” she said “and see if Ala-non is for you.” I did. I am still going strong.
In Closing
I don’t know how to close this. I can tell you that no condition is permanent and that time heals all wounds. I can tell you that you must be a very loving and lovable person to be so touched by this breakup.
I remember something I heard when I was in your shoes. It jolted my heart – gave me hope.
“You think your life is falling apart. Maybe it is just starting to fall together.”
Hmmmmm. This could be true for you too. Couldn't it?
Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take good care of yourself starting with your body. Get some sleep, supplement your heath and plug into your emotional support hotlines – all of them.
And, don’t give up on Love. Don’t give up until you get your miracle. If it could happen to me … it can happen for anyone. I just know that it is on its way to you … give time, time.
I remember something I heard when I was in your shoes. It jolted my heart – gave me hope.
“You think your life is falling apart. Maybe it is just starting to fall together.”
Hmmmmm. This could be true for you too. Couldn't it?
Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take good care of yourself starting with your body. Get some sleep, supplement your heath and plug into your emotional support hotlines – all of them.
And, don’t give up on Love. Don’t give up until you get your miracle. If it could happen to me … it can happen for anyone. I just know that it is on its way to you … give time, time.
©2016 Viveca Stone-Berry, former fatigue sufferer and author of the Fatigue Be Gone Guide and Log. She is also the author of the Adopt Foster Volunteer Pup and Purr Opportunities Planners and Co-Founder of Dog Caption Cards, a greeting card company dedicated to “raising FUN with friends and FUNDS for fur-friends.”
Be sure to like our FB page at Facebook.com/AdoptFosterVolunteer.
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