... from a recovering toxic relationship addict & Adrenal
Fatigue survivor … 

If you're in a toxic relationship, your body is working in overdrive to produce the endorphins you need to combat the stress chemicals your body is producing.  All of the extra work puts a huge strain on your adrenal glands and can put you over the edge and straight into Adrenal Fatigue Syndrome or worse Adrenal Failure.  This guide is a must read – DON”T WAIT - read this NOW.
-Jaci Rae, Founder
WinningRomance.com

I just found your "Fatigue Be Gone" e-book on Rebecca White's "Heal Yourself Talk" website. Whew!  This is FANTASTIC!!!  Exactly what I'm looking for my own readers! 

I have dealt with fatigue for years and no doctor's visit or vitamin product has helped.  I think I'm finally going to turn a corner by working through the steps in your book

-Darlene Hull, WAHM, Founder, Mom-Defrazzler.com

I've gone over your e-Guide. Great info! I could really hear your voice in it -- & your voice, in your writing as well as speaking, is infectious...a great trait for helping others.

- Linda Alexander, Author
www.lindajalexander.net

"If you are sick and tired of feeling sick and tired, read Adrenal Fatigue Be Gone. It's a deceptively simple programme that will have you feeling in control of your life with a minimum of fuss. Better yet, you'll never have to go back to feeling flat and exhausted again!"

- Jennifer Clare, Author The No Sweat Guide to Fitness

I'm blown away!  This is a tremendous piece of work (and us men can benefit from the info too!).  
-Craig, San Diego, CA

(Absolutely! Share the guide with your spouse and your kids. Be my guest! -Viveca)

In reading it, I also thought about the adrenal  exhaustion that occurs with Post Traumatic Stress, the holding of a trauma in one's cellular memory because it is too much to deal with after the incident.

Great job! Big love,
- Margaret Wolff, Author,
 In Sweet Company

Broken Heart :: Divorce, Death, Desertion. It all hurts. Now What?

Is Your Heart Achy Breaky?
Recovery Tips for the Broken Hearted
by: Viveca Stone-Berry
 

They say you never forget your first Love or your first lover. Yes to both. Well, you also never forget horrific heartbreaks. For me it was the one that came before “the one,” my husband, finally showed up. 

I was 41. Too old to be such a fool and too old to ever attract another man. I was too old to be starting all over again – financially, too.  I was terrified of being alone. 

That was just some of the mental chatter.  

Physically and emotionally I was a wreak. Today, happily, I can’t relive the pain but I can recall the dry sobs, the cheerless days, drinking alone, chain smoking and lying awake at night. I remember the fatigue and how I limped through the minutes, hours and weeks that came after he moved out. I was attached to my pain and detached from everything else in life. Is that how a ghost feels?

I’ve come a long way - baby - since then. Today I am 47 going on 48! I married Michael, the perfect man for me, last November 19th. I could not have imagined my life today, back then.

Maybe some of what I learned can help you feel better and, in time, get the Love you desire. 

First of all, don’t rush to “get over it.” Hearts can’t be rushed and feelings don’t come with expiration dates. Take your life one day, one hour at a time. 

Secondly, don’t try to dull it with pills, alcohol, food or sex with “Mr. Right Now.”  This just gives you more clean up to do later. Two wrongs can equal something worse. Been there. Done that. Cured. 

Now, here are some simple tips and techniques to help you feel physically & emotionally better – Fast. Feeling better in your skin makes the heart and soul work ahead so much lighter.
 

Broken Hearts Need Sleep.
Sleep more, sleep better, sleep in whenever possible.

Sleep – quality sleep – can be hard to come by when you’ve been shocked by the loss of a Love. How it happened doesn't matter to the heart - a loss is a loss. Is you mind whirling at night second guessing, trying to figure our "Why?" and "What went wrong?" Or is anxiety, shame or fear of being alone waking you up and keeping you up?

Whatever thoughts or feelings are interrupting your sleep you must make getting the rest you need your TOP priority. Aside from sleeping well I recommend that you get to sleep before 11:00 p.m. and sleep in till 9:00 a.m. whenever possible. Why?

Our adrenal glands, a.k.a. "fight or flight" response system, recharges best between 11:00 p.m. -1:00 a.m. and again in the morning hours. As a former adrenal fatigue sufferer let me assure you that you don't want to "go there." And, let me educate you too. Adrenal fatigue is very common in women. It is often triggered by a shock to the body or mind.
For more information on Adrenal Fatigue, click here.

Below are a few supplements, dietary suggestions & bedtime remedies to help you sleep tight - all night.
 

Broken Hearts Need Supplements.
Vitamins, Minerals, Sleep Aids, Diet & Lifestyle 

Those sleeping pill commercials may be looking really good about now and do have their purpose. Before you go there, or stay there, give this a try: 

Vitamins & Minerals: 

Magnesium.  Take 400-800 mg before going to bed at night. (Soothes nerves and helps you sleep. Most women, light hearted or broken hearted, are deficient in this essential mineral.); 
Vitamin C. Take 1,000 mg around 2:00 p.m. with walnuts. This combo lifts your physical and emotional energy.
Multi-Vitamin. Add a high quality multi-vitamin or vitamin pack. 

Sleep Aids: 

The Magnesium mentioned above; Melatonin and Tylenol PM. I recommend that you rotate usage of “Sleep Aids,” other than the Magnesium, to see what works best for you. (For short term use only.)

Purchase these supplements and sleep aids at your local health food store, grocery store or pharmacy.

Diet:

Protein foods – eggs, cheese, meat and poultry stimulate the mind and can keep you awake at night. If possible eat dinner earlier at least 3-4 hours before going to bed. Avoid sugar deserts and caffeine.  

Complex carbohydrates – cereals, rice and pasta can help calm your mind. Try eating a bowl of oatmeal about an hour before going to bed.

Drink less and drink more. Drink less alcohol. It is a depressant and it interrupts your sleep cycle! Also cut back on caffeine which amps you up then drops you down. Drink more water and a minimum of 8 glasses a day. (I have my cup of coffee two to three hours after I get up. This really helps balance my energy for the all of the day.)

Lifestyle:

Get in bed earlier and take a friend with you. No, not that kind. The following inspirational reads have been good bedfellows for me at a time like this. 

1.  In The Spirit, Susan L. Taylor

2.  In Sweet CompanyConversations with Extraordinary Women About Living A Spiritual Life, Margaret Wolff

3.  Trust Your Vibes, 33 Secrets to Living a Six Sensory Life, Sonia Choquette

4.  The Dance of Fear  Rising Above Anxiety, Fear & Shame to Be Your Best & Bravest Self, Dr. Harriet Lerner 

Journal. Every night before you go to sleep write down 3 accomplishments/wins for that day. Got out of bed. Drove to work. Got back in bed. Use these if you get stuck. Then write a page about that day's worries and a page or imaginings and gratitudes. You will find, little by little, that the good will come naturally and the pain will slide away.

You can shop on-line for these books and other recommended reading at: http://www.getreadyforlove.com/readinglist.htm 

For journaling how to & inspiration click here to read  USE JOURNALING TO MANAGE FEAR

Lower your thermostat. Sleeping in a cooler environment (Between 60 - 65 degrees) triggers hibernation like quieting of the body and the mind. So turn it down and snuggle under your blankets or down. Me, I pretend that my bed is a cloud! 

Lavender your pillow. Sprinkle Lavender Essence Oil on your pillow and benefit from the power of aromatherapy. (I also drab it on the collar of my blouse or on my turtleneck,  right under my nose, to carry its peace with me throughout particularly stressful or unhappy days.) 

Take "Time Out" for grief and laughter. Grief Breaks.  I don’t know about you but I found myself weepy, crying, jagged and anxious all the time after my last break up. Not only couldn’t I get over it; I couldn’t get a break from it. My feelings were like poison spoiling my entire day. 

A friend suggested I set specific times during the day to let it rip – let it out. It wasn’t pretty but it worked. I beat pillows, cried, raged, complained, and screamed my sorrow. I always felt calmer afterwards (how couldn’t I?) and could hold myself together till the next break. The full release stopped the constant drip. 

Laugher Breaks. Do whatever you can to get in some belly laughs even if you have to fake it. Actors do it. You can too. Notice how good you feel afterwards. For the amazing benefits of laughter please visit this webpage:
http://www.getreadyforlove.com/love-links/lsbenefitsoflaughter.htm 

Want more suggestions on where to go for great laughs? How about a daily dose of Pooch Café or other comic strip favorites at:  www.gocomics.com or tuning in Seinfeld or Frazier re-runs or … What makes you laugh? Do it! 

Broken Hearts Need Support
Don’t be shy. That's what professionals, family and friends are for. We are here for you.

The mind is a bad neighborhood. Don't go there alone.
-My Peeps

It took a village to help me get my life back. I am not ashamed to admit that. In fact I am grateful to whatever spirit moved me to ask for help and made me willing to receive it.  Here are a few of my supporters. I encourage you to find your own. 

The Docs …

Dr. Belle, Psychologist. Belle’s specialty was helping women break out of co-dependent, unhealthy relationships with significant others, and themselves. 

Dr. Gray, My Primary Care Doctor. Upon Dr. Belle’s recommendation and her agreement I was prescribed a short term
 – get-over-the-hump – anti-depressant. It worked.

Family & friends. All angels in disguise … 

My Parents, Mom was stoic, no nonsense, just there. Dad - he dropped everything when I told him my break up – break out news. He took me out to breakfast. While I cried into my eggs he talked to me about things like … sleeping and eating and seeing my doctor for support. The kind of things I am talking to you about now … 

Claudia.  She insisted on getting me out of the house and on the tennis court. (Great idea – get that body moving.) We spent hours smacking the ball, giggling about sex, men, boobs and everything under the sun. She also tore through my closet and eliminated all of my “family/wifely” style clothing. Yes, I used to dress like Little House on the Prairie.  

Mafe. Years later she is still a daily source of encouragement. She drove for hours to take me out to lunch when I told her about the break up. I will never forget that afternoon. Or the hours that we have spent together on the phone ever since. You don’t have to be next door or close to get (or give) the Love you need. 

Catherine. She said “I’m sorry you’re going through such a difficult time.” Cat didn’t tell me what to do, how to do it or give her opinion about it. She did gift me a plane ticket with an invitation for a cozy, compassionate visit. On that trip I first heard the song … Ready for Love. That’s another story, another day. 

Craig, Russ, Roxanne, The Buck, My Peeps, Marci, Lesley, Lee, Patrick, Jimmy, My Salsa Class, Annie, Armando, Marsha, Sonia, Cathy, Velvet, Bitsey, Carol, Benson, Coco, Hunter ... I said it took a village, didn't I? Call in your troops and spread your misery around. The 'ol joy shared is multiplied and misery shared is diminished (often laughable.)

Ala-non, the program and the fellowship of its community 

Last, but not least, Alanon. 

How can I describe Ala-non? Let me put it this way. When I first met with Dr. Belle I told her that I wanted to have my life back and that I wanted to feel happy again. She asked me if I had heard of a program called Ala-non and recommended that I give it a try. “Go to six meetings” she said “and see if Ala-non is for you.”  I did. I am still going strong. 

To listen to my interview about healthy relationships and the magic behind the Ala-non Program, please go to: http://healyourselftalk.com/fatigue-be-gone 

In closing … I don’t know how to close this.  

I can tell you that no condition is permanent and that time heals all wounds. I can tell you that you must be a very loving and lovable person to be so touched by this breakup. I remember something I heard when I was in your shoes. It jolted my heart – gave me hope. 

“You think your life is falling apart. Maybe it is just starting to fall together.” 

Hmmmmm. This could be true for you too. Couldn't it?

Whoever you are. Wherever you are. Take good care of yourself starting with your body. Get some sleep, supplement your heath and plug into your emotional support hotlines – all of them. 

And, don’t give up on Love. Don’t give up until you get your miracle. If it could happen to me … it can happen for anyone. I just know that it is on its way to you … give time, time. 

© 2007 Viveca Stone-Berry, former fatigue sufferer and author of the Fatigue Be Gone! Jumpstart e-Guide. Viveca is also the founder of The Get Ready for Love! Show